Some of the Best Parental Advice We Ever Got…..

 

Dear Children,

Having you has been an amazing experience that had we not, our lives would not be what it is today.  And for that, I thank you.    Having said that, I want to officially put it on record that I miss your baby/toddler/early years like I can NOT believe.  When we were in the heart of it, all I wanted to do was get through it.  The constant demands that young children make, not being able to dictate the smallest decision in our daily lives, ie; going to the bathroom solo, when to shower, if you GOT to shower, where to eat, what to eat, was I going to actually sleep that night and if so, would it be with your father or with you.  I’m not going to mention our sex life for two reasons, one day it’s all going to come back and bite you on your ass and for another, you get really weird about it.  So, whatever.

But now, I’ve got tweeners, teeners and an eighteen year old.  And I miss my babies.  I remember the biggest parental shock I got from Emily was when she was little and she used her markers to color our Golden Retriever as if his face were a blank canvas.  And he loved it.

The biggest shock with Bear was when he shoplifted a candy bar and I drove him to the police station to turn him in.  And for Bryson, it was when he was three and said “fuck” twelve times because your father and I couldn’t believe he said it the first time.  It took eleven more times before it registered.  By then, we realized he was talking about the fire fuck…..I mean the fire truck.

Regardless, the biggest parental shocks we received when you were young were minor.  It was easy to love you through them.  But now you are older and the parental shocks are more about character issues and integrity issues.  These strike at the very heart of who and what we believe in and how you have been raised.  These are so much harder to coast through.  However, I remember years ago, we were talking with some friends of ours that had older children, a little older than you are now, and we asked them, “what have you done to keep your relationship with your kids so strong?”  The father answered so simply, “no matter what they have done, NEVER stop talking to them.”

We didn’t realize how difficult this lesson was until recently.  There have been times when I was so angry and hurt I couldn’t speak even if my heart desired it.  I thank God for Daddy because in these moments he was able to fill in the cracks and keep the division from widening.  So, children, I say unto you,  heade this advise and hear the truth in these words.  Hurt and anger will eventually melt away, but your behavior is in the midst of those feelings will remain.  And that is oftentime much more difficult to overcome.

I love you, each one of you.  Keep your head on straight.  Quit trying to find happiness outside of yourself and from others.  Live within your guideposts and boundries.  And please remember, it isn’t anyone’s job to make you happy but yourself.  Own it.

Mom


One Response to “Some of the Best Parental Advice We Ever Got…..”

  • Midge Says:

    I love your words to your children. I hope that I said those words to Dean and Dave, I am not sure I did, but I am so lucky that at their ages now, I still hear from them regularly and our conversatins are good and honest and full of love. We tak about their children and their children are also very attentive to Ron and me. I love to hear from them and from Dean and Dave and their wives. There is no greater cchallenge as a parent than to keep the lines of communication open. It sounds as though you are making good inroads to the children. Keep on keeping on. Love Midge

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